Two stories intertwine and end here. Neither is happy but we must carry on.
I have a new tumour which has grown quickly. Today I will have it radiated and that should be the end of it. Since it is right beside the tumour that caused me so much pain a year ago, that tumour will be radiated also. I hope for no serious collateral damage. One of them touches the bowel, which does not like radiation, and both touch the right kidney, which also does poorly with radiation. I must place my trust in the expertise of others.
In the other tragic story, my married life is quite suddenly over, after 44 years of bliss. I live alone, with a broken heart for company. I cannot remember not being married so this journey will be difficult. I discovered over the past two months how very "married" my mind and soul were to my life partner so coming to terms with the devastating loss has been the hardest thing I have ever done, much more challenging and dangerous than living with cancer.
Now I need time on my own, in peace and quiet, to figure out what shape the future might take. So, I am leaving tomorrow. Please do not watch this space as it will take a long while I think. Thank you for all of your loving kindness and compassion over the years. This blog has provided me a comfortable, safe place to keep my friends informed of my peculiar story. I am blessed with deep friendships and they have sustained me. Email me at deaconnigel@gmail.com if you would like to be in contact in the meantime. Forever peace and endless love.
